It’s Friday. The last day of the school-week. The last day before the week-end. The day that we all love to love and hate to hate. Is the song the same? Is it? Is it really?
Now, as I’m sure you’ve read already, I like to listen to songs whilst I review them. Well, not this time. Oh God no. I wholeheartedly refuse to listen to a rich white girl with idiotic parents, whilst she sings a song about the best day of the week. Sorry. I shouldn’t say stuff like that. It’s not singing. It’s a compilation of grunts, groans and (although I may be mistaken) words. She can’t sing, I daren’t ask if she can dance and I sure as hell wouldn’t screw her for fear of being murdered by people who I consider to be my friends. I wouldn’t normally be this nasty, but she turned the best day of my week into a living hell, as that diehard fan of hers who just so happens to pretend to like her song in order to annoy everyone else just has to keep spurting out some of the lyrics. I would kill them, but it’s illegal, or at least, so I hear.
I like to give positive reviews, but it just so happens that for once, I have no positive comments. The song sucks. Simple as that. ‘We know that’, I hear you think. Well, I’m going to tell you WHY it sucks. Not just that it does.
ONE! The music has no real style to it. It’s like they’ve tried to take the variety of themes in Bohemian Rhapsody and tried to make it more modern for the grunts who enjoy crap like this (by ‘this’ I refer to Friday, not Bohemian Rhapsody. I LIKE Bohemian Rhapsody!) They’ve combined Common Pop with Rap and made Crap. There is no real basis for any of the individual sections and worst of all, it has been badly edited, so there is a point, just after the rap, where they overlap (the two styles). Any editor worth their money would have either edited it properly OR, preferably, not have accepted the job.
TWO! The lyrics. I wouldn’t normally put so much information into the lyrics section of the review, but for once, I’m giving it three individual sections. Words, Dilemma and Delivery.
The words are ridiculous. I was going to Google them, but then I remembered someone posting them on my college’s blog. Aiden Steele, however much of a dick you may be for doing that, you’ve saved me some time AND, most of all, by reading this, you’ve visited the site and visitors are good!
So let’s actually analyse the words shall we? I’ll take the first verse:
‘7am, waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein’ everything, the time is goin’
Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)’
Ok. So what’s actually happening here? She’d woken up, needs to go downstairs and get ready for school. WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO SAY!?! Why has she got to be so bloody elaborative about it? What purpose does it serve for her to tell us all this? IT DOESN’T! It’s pointless!
Ok. So we manage to get past that section of the song and we get met with the dilemma. Which seat, shall she take? Well, this is where the video comes into the review. Despite it being shit, it has one redeeming feature. It validates the coming point. She asks which seat she can take, from a roof-less five-seater which, incidentally, has four passengers. Hang on. Four passengers, with five seats. That leaves, ooh, how many seats? That’s right. One seat. I do A-Level Maths and I worked that out! One person, with one seat left. I wonder where she should sit. IN THE ONLY EMPTY FUCKING SEAT!
I’m sorry, I got a bit angry there, but can you see what I’m trying to say? Good. Let’s focus on the delivery now.
I wouldn’t normally comment on this as how else would a ‘song’ be delivered than through it being sang? Well, Friday was released as a single and made popular by, you guessed it, Youtube. It became a viral video, with everyone, and I mean everyone, mocking the song because of how shit it actually is. I can handle that though. I can accept and understand that. I don’t like it, but it’s fine. I can cope. What I can’t abide is the response SHE gave when it was given negative reviews by the people who’d made her famous. The public decided that they would send her a message, in the form of thousands of ‘thumbs-down’ and negative comments. Hang on? Why release a song if you can’t handle the negative connotations of it? It’s kind of a piss-take.
So, lyrically, it spends most of its time asking stupid questions or, as I distinctly recall, teaching me the latter half of the week. I know the week, Rebecca. In fact, based on your lack of information about them, I know about the first three days better than you do. It goes MONDAY, TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY, then Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Three whole days that she forgot about and couldn’t be bothered to mention. Three whole days which surround and pinpoint the day I was born (Tuesday – I just checked). What a bitch.
I was going to comment on the general look of the people in the video, describing how ugly, unhappy and, in one case, paedophilic they all look. However, I am sat next to a friend, in my college’s library writing this. He studies law and has subsequently told me that I could get sued for libel. Since he’s right, I’ll have to cope with saying that the rapper looks like he might have an unhealthy obsession with the younger generation. It’s ok. He won’t understand what that meant. If he was dumb enough to sing the song and star in the video, he isn’t smart enough to understand that simple wordplay. HA!
Finally, as I’m aware this review is dragging on a bit, I wish to comment on the repetition of the song. Not as in the lyrics repeating themselves, but rather, the fact that it has been repeated by so many people. I can understand people like Katy Perry (PHWOAR!) repeating it. I don’t like them enough to care. I can cope with them singing it as well. What I can’t cope with is the fact that my favourite broadcasting company, the BBC, has used it in adverts for one of my favourite shows, (Have I Got News For You). It’s disgraceful and I’m officially pissed off.
So, I finish my rant. The song sucks, but although it pains me to add my name to the list of those associated with it, I must categorise it under That Guy and, although it pains me even more, Music. I hate this song.