Review 2 of our ‘Current Hits’ series. Pixie Lott this time, with her new hit, currently in 10th. What do we think? Read on to find out?
Pixie Lott has always had a special place in my head, somewhere between ‘fap to’ and ‘kill for crimes against music’ (figurative death, not literal). She’s still there, but now I can prove why each side has a point…
We start out with a stuttering piece of music, as a bunch of women leave a Citroen DS3 (PRODUCT PLACEMENT). Great. Music video women, usually babes, are clambering out of a car. Great. NOT GREAT! The music’s still on. I think the whole sound works, but it just doesn’t work. Yes. I know. THAT doesn’t work. Well, guess what! SO WHAT! It’s true.
Music has to have an effect and in this case, the only effect is the sudden urge I have to vomit all over my keyboard. I don’t want to do that, so I’m now going to stop the music. Guess what? Vomit sensation has stopped. better check my theory by resuming the music. Well, for now it seems reasonably ok. I guess I won’t be sick afteralsdj;kgllknj khj jsflkj jspafow c ohfapwfh… Sorry about that… Stomach spasms and the urge to vomit again. Decided not to delete it. it looks artistic.
So, back to the song. More stuttering and a shit-load of repetition later, we end with, guess what, repetition. You ask what we take you for? We take you for a bad singer. Hence, should die for crimes against music (figurative death, not literal).
As for being near my fap to list? Just watch the video. She obviously wants to deep-throat that microphone and the rubbing works well with her particular physique. Just wish I was there to record it. Then I could fap AND ruin the video for my own purposes.
I daren’t risk more vomit, so I’ll end now.
2/10 (because I don’t want to suggest that being fappable gives high scores…)