Reliably Unreliable…

When you think of friends, you think of loyal, supportive, loving and reliable people, right? At what point does that friendship become untenable due to the reliability exhibited?

Reliability -the ability to be relied on or depended on, as for accuracy, honesty, or achievement.

I consider myself to be a good friend. Someone who you can rely on to help you where and when you need it. Someone who is loyal to the bone. Who will love you and support you in bad times, and in the good. I will be there for you, and I would expect no less in return. A friendship should be a mutual bond between two people…

Being such a person, when an old friend of mine whom I’d not seen for 8 months or so informed me she had her exam coming up soon, which involved her designing a menu, and producing it by running a kitchen, and serving to the public, as a show of my support for her, I indicated I would genuinely love to be there to experience her expertise and promptly arranged a call around to other friends of mine, to see who was interested, and shortly thereafter, booked a table for 4.

Then, on the sunday (3 days before the event) I am informed one of them actually can’t come, the 2nd nobody has heard if she wants to go, and the third, isn’t sure if she has something else to do – but would tell me by 11am on the Wednesday…

Naturally, I start looking for replacements, not wanting to letmy friend down by cancelling. I only need one space filled, after all we weren’t sure about the 2nd or 3rd person. I had a lot of people send their regrets, and had a couple say they would maybe come, but no definates.

Tuesday night comes along, and I hear for definate now, that the 2nd definately is not coming, and so, kind of panicking, I call the 3rd to find out the plan, and get ignored. It is not until 2pm on the wednesday (today) that she informs me she also definately will not be coming…

So here I am, a table for 4 booked, and nobody to go with… I start contacting the ‘maybe’s and get told a lot of them aren’t able to make it. Fair enough. One says she thinks she can, but won’t tell me until later. I mean hello, the meal’s only 4 hours away?! It takes an hour long discussion – and the assurance she can bring a friend of hers – to finally convince her to come, and I’m sat here thinking to myself, is it me?

I mean why is it so hard to organise a meal – that isn’t even expensive – in a local location, in support of a mate? Do people just not want to associate with me? If thats the case, why consider yourself my friend?

No, it can’t be any of that. Why should it be me? As I’ve said already, I do anything I can to be there for my friends when they need me, even if they don’t know they do.

So it brings me back to the durability of a friendship… at which point does being let down over and over make a friendship become untenable?

Frankly? It doesn’t. Reliability is only one part of a friendship, and the thing I’ve found with my closest friend, is that friendship is knowing of their letdowns and flaws, and accepting it and loving them for it. You know what to expect with your friends, they wouldn’t be your friends otherwise.

After all, the old adage stands, you can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends.

Choose wisely people



3 thoughts on “Reliably Unreliable…

  1. For those who have read this and voted very low, I just want to ask you, did you read it all the way through, or were you just angry that it was about you…?

    Read the 2nd to last paragraph (Starting “Frankly?”) – then read it again. And again if you must.
    It pretty much disagrees that these people are unworthy etc. It explains that I understand that things get in the way, and that nobodys perfect, and its because of this, that I still love them.

    Everyone has their own issues to contend with on a day-in-day-out basis and they cannot always be compared. My blog is my way of venting anger that may otherwise have been directed at people in person, and that’s something I try to avoid.

    I stand by my blog 100%. After all, we’re all entitled to our opinions.


    • As do I. The whole point is that we here are giving our honest opinions on matters and if the readers don’t like this, then they shouldn’t be reading our reviews.

      Furthermore, if you are going to comment or leave an opinion, make sure you’ve actually read the post fully, before doing so. I find Haggis’s actions admirable and, given the fact that he stands by them in the face of adversity, applaud-able.

      Although I may disagree with the way in which he’s written the first paragraph of his comment (please make it more subtle next time), his overall message is one we should all remember.

      Life reviews are some of those that can get people with you or against you and I’m sad to say that both Haggis and I have experienced both sides of this. Any of you remember ‘That Guy’s Christmas 2011’? My review of Christmas? That was the one where my mum wouldn’t talk to me for a week because she saw it as a personal attack. Only after I wrote an apology, although filled with personal attacks (I’ll add it to a separate page for a week if anyone wants me to) and my usual method of deploring someone for the most minor of details, would she talk to me again…

      So, life’s a bitch. We all know it and mumble it from time to time, but we here stand firm and will shout out how bitchy it is. Just don’t have a go at us if you’re too cowardly to do it yourself…

      That Guy


  2. Alright, yeah I can see why this may have cause some offence but in all fairness Haggis’s penultimate paragraph does cover himself pretty well. Maybe he should’ve made it clearer, it does look like it’s stuffed at the end and it is a small paragraph, but if people would’ve read it as a whole instead of getting caught up with the bad stuff then they would’ve seen that no offence is meant. We should always finish reading something before we make a comment on it.


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