To many of you, friends are something you’ve had for a long time. Though some of you, will have known solitude and loneliness. In this post, i endeavor to share with all of you, my story of friends. How they have come and gone. A story of little to tell, very depressing and at times for me, in the day to day life of what i am about to tell you, just horrible.
I guess my story of friends begins where they all do. Nursery. I was a very outcast child, even then. I choose to sit on my own, instead of take part in group activities. I hated the sing-a-longs, but excelled at the crafts on the arts and crafts table. My macaroni decorated box lasted a whole week before the glue began to fail. I didn’t understand the other kids. There want to play and be active; there almost insurmountable need to be loud and disorderly, and complain at the smallest of things while committing wrongs of far superior consequences.
Then, came the beginning of the long agony that was, school. That began with year reception, where i was originally accepted. I even made an acquaintance with a boy who would spend breaks with me every now and then. Only he, as the others did, soon found they couldn’t understand me. That i was weird, and that lead, even at this early stage, to bullying.
There method was simple. Pressure me into playing tig, make sure i was it, and then laugh at me and push me around as i tried in vain to try and catch them. That was on a good day. On a bad day, they would just push me around to make me angry so i would chase them. As usual they would laugh at me as i tried to catch them. Only the real problems came when i did.
Once, i caught the boy who was there leader and i scratched deep into his arm. He began to bleed and was after revenge, so i, realizing what i had done, ran to the dinner ladies, who were always too far away in there convocations to worry about my protection. If i had hurt any of them, they would turn me in. If i tried protesting what they were doing to me, they would lie, and they always seemed to get away with it.
This carried on through year 1 and in all this time i had no friends. I would like to say i was lieing. I would love to tell you i was only joking around and had one friend, at least, but i honestly had none. So, seeing as being good wasn’t getting me anywhere, i decided to be bad. Year 2, i admit it, i was a bully. I picked on the boy who had been my acquaintance in reception, as he was weak and an easy target, as i could always out think him into a corner. Only i got told off a lot as a bully, and also told i was better than that and to pick myself up, so decided that wasn’t working either.