before you ask, yes, you can review a nightclub. I must admit some bias here already as i do work in Central, so that may swing my view slightly to be more harsh or sympathetic than usual. I am writing this now as last night and this morning i was working my shift, while Ibiza was there on it’s club tour! It was manic! I was running around like i was on fire and literally didn’t even find the time to look at the clock to find out what time it was. It was nuts; but a hell of a lot of fun. I’ll put a link to there website at the bottom of this review, but anyway, to business….
Central Nightclub is split into three separate areas:
- Browns Bar, downstairs
- The Lounge Bar, upstairs
- The Main room, upstairs
I’ll review each one on there own individual merits and then average a score for the whole club.
Its a simple layout. A long bar at one end of the room, with the toilets on the right and the “kitchen” on the left. There’s an open layout in front of the bar and two curved, raised sofa-ed seating areas either side of the main entrance. It has a staircase to the lounge bar which is open when the lounge opens at 12:45-ish and Browns closes first at 12:30, to reopen using the stairs, to people upstairs when the lounge bar opens at 12:45-ish.
I should probably at this point explain that all the rooms are linked. I can go into Browns, upstairs to the lounge, through the lounges main doors to the Main room and then downstairs to Centrals main entrance, just a little way down the ally next to Browns main entrance. I hope that clears up any confusion as to where the lounge gets it’s customers from.
Anyway, Browns is about average size for a bar. It’s great for private functions and the DJ has his own station next to the “Kitchen” under the stairwell to play great music from. The T.V.s are always playing a different video from the music being played and the atmosphere is a little to club like. It feels like the place has no seperate identity from central, but is just a copy of the club upstairs using the space infront of the bar as a much smaller dance floor, and i don’t think that’s right for the fact that there’s meant to be a club, lounge and bar, not a club lounge and a smaller club.
The bar staff are, memorable. That’s always a good thing. The girls aren’t shy about getting into the music and the mix of personalities is hard unforgettable, even when your completely pissed and think pot noodles from the BP garage is a great idea. Just quoting some guys i heard last night there.
So Browns, i give you -3 points for no originality and, actually, i feel like i should be deducting one more point but i genuinly can’t think of a reason why, so 7/10 to Browns bar. Well done!
The Lounge Bar
A relaxing place to be. I’m not kidding; of all the rooms in the club, this is my favorite! The walls are surprisingly thicken enough to block out the sound effectively from the club next door. When the Lounge bar opens and Browns re-opens, Browns does a different set of music to the club. They do more old classics and fun music. This rises up from Browns to the lounge, not drowned out by the very loud club just a wall away, and yet the music from downstairs is not loud enough that you can’t ignore it if you want. Meaning, in this room, you can retreat to a sofa and you may find it surprisingly quiet, or at least well muffled.
It has a quaint, well lit little bar with plenty of dark effect, yet not unlit, seating areas. The sofas are extremely comfortable and the bar staff, very pleasant. There one, two or three of the same people as downstairs, so you know your in good hands straight away. It is large for a lounge, as there are two very large sofa areas and a central table with stools. The bar has a wide, circular area in front of it hich works very well in bottle necking everyone to the bar to be served, and the stairs and entrance do not intrude on the room in any way, creating an inclusive effect.
It is a great lounge and i give it a 9/10. Why not ten when i speak so highly of it. Simple, because I’ve been to a lounge that’s even better, but in a club that’s worse. So, because i know better, i can’t give it a ten, but close is good enough.
Central- Main room
This place is really well designed. The bar doesn’t intrude on the room, but is set back so the front is at wall level. On the right is the “Kitchen” and the entrance to the toilets. Straight away i have to point out there are stairs to the toilets. You go down about eight stairs to get to them, and this makes going to the toilet, a major difficulty for some when there pissed, all that more difficult.
There are two free standing tables in one corner of the room on the right of the main entrance and the left has a raised sofa area. A large one. Due to it’s position, if you sit on the right or in the center, you need not worry about people behind you, but on the left, people are walking behind you all the time to go to and from the toilets and the small wall area behind your sofa is a popular place for people to put drinks and elbows. Just saying, i wouldn’t wanna risk getting wet.
Down three steps from this bar area and you have the dance floor. Circular and surrounded on one side completely, and another partially are long curved stands for the drinks of people on the dance floor and a top stand for people watching from above at the bar area. The DJ stand is on a highly raised platform which people like to stand on the front of to party. Either side of this there are also two further raised platform, with railings going all the way round, except for the entrance. In the middle of each there is a pole, and the fact that they are both circular in shape adds to the effect.
The ceiling over the dance floor is raised for better lighting effects and there is one more, raised sofa area to the right of the entrance to the Lounge and this is the most private area in the whole main room. The rooms obsession with circles, raised areas and stairs makes for an interesting and well divided room. The dance floor is maybe a little on the big-ish size and the the bar staff here are normally more firm with you. I give the main room 6.5 /10.
The place does great drinks, like the “Browns bomb” and the “woowoo”, but i try not to judge a place on its drinks. A restaurant is about food and drink, a club is about atmosphere and how it makes you feel. So, overall Central Night Club in Stamford gets a 7.5/10. Aka, on my scale, it makes me feel really really good. So, the math is right.
That Other Guy