Billy Ray Cyrus – Achy Breaky Heart

Okay. I know. These songs, since I said, are all in my music collection. Say what you will about my taste in music, heck, say what you will about my taste in anything apart from fine wine, women and cheese. I mean it. Comment on them, and you will get a VERY angry email response from me personally. I mean it. Don’t test me…

Billy Ray Cyrus, more famously known to the “modern” generation as being Miley Cyrus’ dad or that old bloke from Hannah Montana, or the other spy from Spy Next Door, had a music career, back in the 90’s. In fact, he’s probably the reason we all know what line-dancing is, and why we all had to endure Hillbilly Rock by the cast of Emmerdale. I know I had to endure my mother’s booty line-dancing in the living room, back when she was “dance-active”. I still have the nightmares…

Okay, so, to the review.

Lyrically, it’s not great. It’s a man telling a woman he was previously in a relationship with, that she can leave him and tell anyone whatever she wants, but to not tell his heart, because it’d kill him.

That’s not to say, however, that the lyrics are bad. I mean, some of it goes well.

“You can tell the world you never was my girl
You can burn my clothes when I’m gone
Or you can tell your friends just what a fool I’ve been
And laugh and joke about me on the phone”

The first words of the song, and what do they do? Reel you in. Simple as that. What else can she do? What else is he okay with? What’s the catch? Clever tactics. Very clever tactics.

The music. Simple. Only two chords. If I had the technical knowledge of playing a gee-tar, I could play it. Me. That Guy. How cool would that be? Hopefully I’d never have to sing it with meaning, but heck, it’d be good to know I can, right?

I like the drum. Repetitive, but it works in a way which is almost hypnotic. Why? I don’t quite know. I think it’s the whole beat, two beat, beat, two beat, thing that it does.

I really like the bit where the music stops completely, and it’s just him singing the chorus and then, boosh, music and train impression.

And that’s what I don’t like. The train impression. It didn’t need him to go “Wooooooooo-hoooo” at all, but he does it. Why? It’s not needed, Billy. It’s not needed. I dunno though. Maybe it is. I’m only one man, and I wasn’t even alive when it was made. God knows I’m not his target demographic. Lonely middle-aged women were… Poor sods. Don’t tell their hearts…

So, yeah, lyrics kinda suck, but the music makes up for it. if I was reviewing the video, which I haven’t watched, I would probably give a very bad score, what with the line-dancing I have to assume occurred and the nightmares it helped create. Damn you Billy-Ray. You scared the be-jeezus out of this reviewer, but boy can you sing…


That Guy


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