Good evening and welcome to the That Guy Oscar Award Ceremony, where I tell YOU who I think will win this years Oscars, based mostly on past experiences of actors, and on the plot-summaries I have read on Wikipedia. I may have seen a few of the films up for awards, but this year, most of the films looked like they’d suck (cough – Life of Pi – cough), so I didn’t really bother.
As with last year, the nominations are the genuine 2013 Oscar nominations, and I wish every participant good luck with the genuine awards ceremony.
Nominations: Amour, Life of Pi, Argo, Lincoln, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Silver Linings Playbook, Django Unchained, Zero Dark Thirty, Les Misérables.
A Tarantino, an ex-US-President, the action-filled story of the killing of Osama Bin Laden and a guy in a boat with a CGI tiger, are all things that do not feature in the film I hope will win this year’s Best Picture award. The story of that ex-convict, turned honest-man who ran from the French tyrant “Javere” is, quite possibly, the best story here. I saw it with a lack of enthusiasm, and I can’t get the film out of my head. It’s literally giving me head-aches.
Winner: Les Misérables
Actor In A Leading Role
Nominations: Bradley Cooper, Joaquin Phoenix, Daniel Day Lewis, Denzel Washington, Hugh Jackman.
I have to say, considering the range of roles here, that a surprisingly large number of them portray old-men at some point in their films. Old drunk pilot – old convict – old man President. One of these wins. Guess which… Yes, his singing, acting, particularly the physical element, as well as the portrayal of mood through his body… Superb!
Winner: Hugh Jackman
Actress In A Leading Role
Nominations: Jessica Chastain, Quvenzhané Wallis, Jennifer Lawrence, Naomi Watts, Emmanuelle Riva.
Purely because of how difficult it must be to portray a woman who is a survivor (for the moment) of a surprise tsunami, I have to give this award to Naomi.
Winner: Naomi Watts
Now, with the rest of these, I’m not going to do full write-outs, merely tell you the award, who I think will win, and then, maybe, if I feel like it, a pun or two.
Actor In A Supporting Role – Tommy Lee Jones
Actress In A Supporting Role – Anne Hathaway
Animated Feature Film – The Pirates! Band of Misfits
Cinematography – Skyfall
Costume Design – Les Misérables
Directing – Life of Pi
Documentary Feature – How To Survive A Plague
Documentary Short – King’s Point
Film Editing – Argo
Foreign Language Film – No
Makeup and Hair Styling – Les Miserables (with The Hobbit a close 2nd)
Music (Original Score) – Lincoln
Music (Original Song) – Ted (Everybody Need’s A Best Friend)
Production Design – The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Short Film (Animated) – Maggie Simpson in “The Longest Daycare)
Short Film (Live Action) – Curfew
Sound Editing – Skyfall
Sound Mixing – Les Misérables
Visual Effects – The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Writing (Adapted Screenplay) – Lincoln
Writing (Original Screenplay) – Flight
So, that’s what I think. Overall winner of the most awards? Les Miserable with, I count, 5 wins. I could be wrong, and I probably will be, but unless we all tune in, we just won’t know will we?
Tell us who you think will win in the comments below, and remember, this is just a bit of fun, and you shouldn’t bet your money on who I think will win. That said, I really think Hugh Jackman should win, so please, bet everything on him…