That Guy’s Oscar Ceremony 2013

Good evening and welcome to the That Guy Oscar Award Ceremony, where I tell YOU who I think will win this years Oscars, based mostly on past experiences of actors, and on the plot-summaries I have read on Wikipedia. I may have seen a few of the films up for awards, but this year, most of the films looked like they’d suck (cough – Life of Pi – cough), so I didn’t really bother.

As with last year, the nominations are the genuine 2013 Oscar nominations, and I wish every participant good luck with the genuine awards ceremony.

Let’s begin!

Best Picture

Nominations: Amour,  Life of Pi, Argo, Lincoln, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Silver Linings Playbook, Django Unchained, Zero Dark Thirty, Les Misérables.

A Tarantino, an ex-US-President, the action-filled story of the killing of Osama Bin Laden and a guy in a boat with a CGI tiger, are all things that do not feature in the film I hope will win this year’s Best Picture award. The story of that ex-convict, turned honest-man who ran from the French tyrant “Javere” is, quite possibly, the best story here. I saw it with a lack of enthusiasm, and I can’t get the film out of my head. It’s literally giving me head-aches.

Winner: Les Misérables

Actor In A Leading Role

Nominations: Bradley Cooper, Joaquin Phoenix, Daniel Day Lewis, Denzel Washington, Hugh Jackman.

I have to say, considering the range of roles here, that a surprisingly large number of them portray old-men at some point in their films. Old drunk pilot – old convict – old man President. One of these wins. Guess which… Yes, his singing, acting, particularly the physical element, as well as the portrayal of mood through his body… Superb!

Winner: Hugh Jackman

Actress In A Leading Role

Nominations: Jessica Chastain, Quvenzhané Wallis, Jennifer Lawrence, Naomi Watts, Emmanuelle Riva.

Purely because of how difficult it must be to portray a woman who is a survivor (for the moment) of a surprise tsunami, I have to give this award to Naomi.

Winner: Naomi Watts

Now, with the rest of these, I’m not going to do full write-outs, merely tell you the award, who I think will win, and then, maybe, if I feel like it, a pun or two.

Let’s go!

Actor In A Supporting Role – Tommy Lee Jones
Actress In A Supporting Role – Anne Hathaway

Animated Feature Film – The Pirates! Band of Misfits

Cinematography – Skyfall
Costume Design – Les Misérables
Directing – Life of Pi

Documentary Feature – How To Survive A Plague
Documentary Short – King’s Point

Film Editing – Argo

Foreign Language Film – No

Makeup and Hair Styling – Les Miserables (with The Hobbit a close 2nd)

Music (Original Score) – Lincoln
Music (Original Song) – Ted (Everybody Need’s A Best Friend)

Production Design – The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Short Film (Animated) – Maggie Simpson in “The Longest Daycare)
Short Film (Live Action) – Curfew

Sound Editing – Skyfall
Sound Mixing – Les Misérables

Visual Effects – The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Writing (Adapted Screenplay) – Lincoln
Writing (Original Screenplay) – Flight

So, that’s what I think. Overall winner of the most awards? Les Miserable with, I count, 5 wins. I could be wrong, and I probably will be, but unless we all tune in, we just won’t know will we?

Tell us who you think will win in the comments below, and remember, this is just a bit of fun, and you shouldn’t bet your money on who I think will win. That said, I really think Hugh Jackman should win, so please, bet everything on him…

That Guy


2 thoughts on “That Guy’s Oscar Ceremony 2013

  1. I think this is a hard topic for you to talk about seeming, “most of the films looked like they’d suck.” implying that you did not see the nominated pictures. How can you predict any category if you haven’t seen the movies that are nominated?


    1. I can predict them by say that these are the people I think will win, regardless of what limited knowledge I have. I don’t claim to know who’ll win, or even that I’ll get any right – only that this is what I think, as with everything else I write.

      I never claim that I’m right, unless I’m doing so in a way that I hope will be comical, like when I say Coldplay is great and anyone who says otherwise sucks donkey-balls. All I wish to do here is express my own opinions, and if you’re going to take issue with that, then you might as well stop coming here because the whole point of TGTRS is to share our opinions with you. You don’t have to like what we say, or agree with us, or even understand why we came to the conclusion we’ve come to. All you have to do is accept that it’s our opinion and nothing more.

      Think you can do that?

      That Guy


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