Cabin In The Woods


So, today, or rather, last night, as it is currently approaching 4am here in merry old England, I decided to sit down and watch some film. I did this by myself with a bottle of whiskey and some cherry coke. The whiskey is no more. May hell have mercy on its tasty goodness. Now, the review:

What is it about? A bunch of late teens, maybe early tweens, end up in the eponymous location, where they unwittingly choose their method of sacrifice, to appease the “ancient ones”, a god-race from before the human plane of existence. Or something like that.

Despite being a bit stupid as a plot, it actually works quite well. It fits into the horror genre well, even if it spoofs it a little. There’s a scene where we see a load of the monsters that could be chosen to kill the tweeny-teenys, which reminded me a lot of that scene in a terrible episode of Dr Who from the Matt Smith era, where he gets put in the Pandorica? You know the one I mean.

So, there’s a wide-range of monsters, but the main ones are the zombie family from the early 1900’s who torture and kill people because they think it’s okay to call black people “nigger” and sting them up from a tree. As a point of interest. It is not okay. Just saying.

I suspect this film had a fairly low-budget, mostly because of the tiny amount of locations, and the most expensive scene involving a few elevators and some weird monsters coming out of them (one of which was like a cross between Wall-E and the robot from Red Planet).

I’m not saying it was a bad film, just that it was cheap. Cheap isn’t bad, it just isn’t always good either. In this case, I think they just managed to pull it off, but the acting was still a bit shocking. Even Sigourney Weaver, notorious for high-importance roles and being a half-decent actress, disappointed me here.

So, an alright plot and shoddy acting. Not looking great… Anything going to redeem it? It made me laugh. Not a lot, but enough.There were scenes that just made me smile and others that made me chuckle. It amused me to see the dramatic irony where we hope he’ll make it from one cliff to the other, but all know he won’t because of the hex-invisible-electric-wall thing. It’s dramatic irony, and I love it.

But no, the film was passable. It was on my to watch list, I watched it, and now it will stay in the dusty archives of my “seen it” collection. It’s crowded in there.

6/10

That Guy

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