Skyrim


Good evening, one and all. This is my third review since starting my current series, and the first of my Winnable Wednesday reviews. As you’d suggest, it is a game review, but like with my ‘Don’t Look Back In Anger’ review, you can get entered into a birthday prize draw, so keep tuned.

Skyrim is a massive game, in all senses of the word. The locations are big, it is incredibly popular and there’s a lot to do. But what do I think?

Well, I think that, for a game boasting hundreds of different characters and dozens of miscellaneous quests, thousands of items and numerous ways to make your character as unique as the last, there’s one glaring flaw.

Its too big. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve owned the game for a week and a half – I had it when it came out, but not on my PC, and not for very long – and juggling that, work, my girlfriend, my cat, sleep, the secret life I have in the reviewers guild… I’ve managed to complete the main story. That’s not unexpected. Seriously, it wasn’t. I’ve spent many a time completing games faster than expected. GTA V took about a week, review next week, by the way, whilst the first Gears of War took my just 5 hours. I could have pulled a sickie to do that. I wouldn’t of course. If I was going to pull a sickie it would be for unimaginable amounts of sex in ‘new-to-humanity’ ways, or, to get superpowers.

However despite completing the story 8 days after starting, I feel compelled to complete all the quests I can find. Not easy, when its bugged a few so they can’t be completed properly, but I can check them off, mentally. In three days, give or take, I seem yo have made no progress with the side-quests. I was already king of the dark brotherhood, I was already captain handyman with a sword and a fistful of fire. Other than becoming the archmage of Hogwarts and Robin Hood, I’ve not got anything else to do. I own all the houses I can get without DLC, and I keep thinking, maybe I should start again. Who knows, I might encounter something new if play as a busty Nord female with an obsession with tight leather… Knowing my luck, a kidnapping and the rest of my life in a cage somewhere, sucking off the Jarl of Dicksville…

Don’t get me wrong – its a fantastic game and its incredibly great how they managed to make the me understand all of the history, despite never playing an earlier game (don’t test me).

I like it, but I need to see progress. I need to see that my actions are resulting in fewer quests needing to be complete. I need to see if I can, somehow, see something new from a new perspective.

8/10

That Guy

And for all you contest entrant wannabes, the first person to comment with the name of the man in Riverwood who sounds like he came from Sweden and slept with Ulrika, gets entered into the birthday prize draw. Still no word on the prize/s, but so far, sex toys seem likely. Only joking. I’ve contemplated takeaway food delivered to your house. That’d be nice of me, wouldn’t it?

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